Stuff Poor People Like

Yes, the gentleman pictured above loves his bicycle. The poor population (in the interest of not getting a DUI) always use their bike during non work hours. Mr. Hankins would get PISSED if he found out you used his 1978 company van to go pick up your 12 pack of milwaukee’s best.

I’ve lived poor before, and one thing that holds true with all bicycles is this….. handlebars are amazing places to set your beer while you navigate back to the trailer park in a drunken stupor.

You see, the rings that often end up killing fish and dolphins, rest PERFECTLY on the handlebars of bicycles. You don’t even have to one arm it, just stick it on the handlebars and ROCK ON! You can even smoke a marlboro light while you ride.

Watch an episode of cops, I bet you dollars to donuts that you’ll see some shirtless guy, riding a 10 speed with a cigarette hanging out of his mustachioed upper lip.